Defining Ourselves Over Time

Our speaker Julie Nemeth provided an excellent and interesting overview of developmental theories in children and adolescents---appropriate if this were a psychology class.Nevertheless,I especially found learning about the research conducted by Kenny and Rice(1995) humorous.It categorized the college experience in Ainsworth's terminology, as a "strange situation".That is,once parents drop off their kid at the dorm,the child's style of forming relationships with others will depend on the attachment to the mother the child had at the age of 12-18 months old.
Is it reasonable to assume that attachment theory can be applied across developmental stages?
Do all psychologists agree that our internal models of our self and others do not change over time and are based solely on whether or not we experienced secure or insecure attachments?
I don't think so!
Here is a question Nemeth asked herself in class,"why are there so many Jewish psychologists?"The answer I offer is because Jews believe a person can change.Change is a tenant of Judaism.When a person does a wrongdoing,feels bad about it and vows never to do it again,the process of repentance takes effect.That is, where distance existed between two people,closeness can replace it.Unlike Christianity which believes a person,no matter how bad he/she is,if he/she accepts Jesus Christ,then redemption is guaranteed.Not so in Judaism.If we had a bad "attachment" with our parents,own up to it, because otherwise there will be repercussions...lack of self-esteem,psychological distress.But, if we make amends,say sorry, then what was done in the past does not necessarily need to define us now.Fostering the best possible relationship with our parents will hopefully yield a well adjusted individual no matter what environment we find ourselves in;and,more importantly,at whatever point in time.

Eric McBride Response for Dr. Nemeth

I found that Dr. Nemeth's presentation was an interesting and thought provoking. I have not taken a psychology class since freshman year, but her ideas about attachment theory and religious background seem to make sense. When one has a strong religious foundation, it can help that person in various aspects of life. Also, it is clear that stable parental relationship has a direct correlation with well-being. As Heather pointed out, it is interesting that the more decisive relationship for stability is father-daughter. In future study, I think it would be useful to also focus on alternative style households such as single-parent, same-sex couples, or extended families and see if a similar relationship exists and is relevant. While there were some limitations, I am glad that Dr. Nemeth shared the entire research process with us and asked for our feedback. While she examined Jewish religious identity, I think a good place for further analysis would be Jewish social identity and well-being. Judaism is such a community-oriented religion and there are so many different social inputs from summer camp to book groups to J-Date. I thought the lecture was appropriate and a good way to wrap-up the semester.

Dr. Nemeth

I enjoyed Dr. Nemeth's speech. However, there were many errors in her research. She was pointing them out to us which I thought was strange to poke holes in your own data. Honestly, I didn't understand why she thought the data from Jews and non-Jews would be different on a topic like separation and attachment. Maybe after the holocaust there might be some differences, but now a days I feel that it would make no difference. Especially, if her study is polling mostly conservative and reformed Jews, whom grew up in mostly secular societies.
There is really nothing else to be talked about. It wasn't a topic to be discussed, it was more like heres my hypothesis and "oh... my hypothesis was right."
Lastly, I would have to disagree with her generalization that girls who are culturally Jewish have more self confidence and self esteem than Jews who are religiously Jewish. I believe that to be a bogus statement. I have never seen Jewish girls with less confidence and no self- esteem before I came to college. I came from an orthodox area and those girls would never put up with the garbage that cultural Jewish girls would. I have done no research on the topic, that is just my personal observation.

Dr. Julie Nemeth's Talk

First of all, I thought this was a great way to end the semester. Dr. Nemeth provided the class with a very real-world example of how Jewish identity can affect us every day, and how research as to its full affects is being done even right now, at our own university. While, admittedly, there was room for a lot of error in the study that Dr. Nemeth had conducted, I think she touched upon some truly interesting points. I myself have had many personal issues focusing around separation and attachment, and I am always looking for new ways to try and understand the problems that cloud my subconscious. Never had I really looked at my Jewish identity, however, as a possible influencing factor in my difficulties.
Dr. Nemeth noted that, in her study, it ended up being that father/daughter relationships were the "most important" to young Jewish women of this day and age. In most past studies, research was done solely between the young woman and her mother, sometimes with both parents. Never, however, has a study been conducted looking solely at the relationship between the young Jewish woman and her father. This is incredibly surprising to me! As I briefly suggested to Dr. Nemeth, many of my close personal female, Jewish friends, if they have troubles at all with their parents, have troubles with their fathers. Why is it, I wonder, that in recent years a shift has occured, placing the father/daughter relationship in more prominence?
While I firmly believe that everyone's individual situation will be affected differently by a number of personal factors, I think there are some over-arching ideas that have caused this shift. In America especially, the idea of "Daddy's Little Girl" is seen everywhere. From sitting happily on a father's knee as a child to the talks that Dad will undoubtedly have with the first boyfriend, fatherly approval is incredibly influencial and craved by a little girl. Especially in generations when female independence and opportunity has become even more popular. Domestic roles, while still incredibly important, are no longer restricting to females. Women have every, if not more, opportunity than men, and are seen in traditionally male roles from astronauts to CEOs and beyond. In adopting and integrating into more traditionally male-dominated areas of society, women are more often look to their fathers for advice and support.
Obviously, I'm no psychologist, and these are just a few, broad ideas of why the father/daughter relationship is becoming more influencial in a woman's life, and therefore, more heavily affecting her dealings with separation and attachment. I definitely think that a study focusing on the link between separation, attachment, and Jewish identity, specifically focusing on how fathers affect their daughters, would open up a lot of new avenues for both learning and understanding, especially in my own life.

Monika Shafi's Talk

Professor Shafi's presentation of the life and works of Gertrud Kolmar was very interesting. As an English major and a creative writer myself, I love to find out about how the personal life of an author influenced and shaped their work. Kolmar's integration of an autobiographical element into her seemingly general poetry is genius--it enables the reader to see the bigger picture and not judge the works solely by Kolmar's personal bias, but it also weaves a strong, identifiable female voice into the text. As a female Jewish artist, Kolmar seemed to be working against all arenas of society at the time she was writing; her feelings of isolation and hopelessness were, without a doubt, not only in her head.

I think the quote that Professor Shafi included at the end of her presentation was most telling of Kolmar's true aspirations. In a letter to her sister on July 19th, 1942, Kolmar wrote: “The earlier decades when we were doing ‘very well’ were not for me, they demanded qualities of a gregarious, social kind that, for the most part, I lacked; but what the present demands—that I have in every way; I am a good match for today.” Kolmar knew that she could never fit in. Her physical appearance, her artistic inclinations, and her attachment to her Jewish identity all prohibited her from finding happiness in much of her life, even when her family was "doing very well". But, from what Professor Shafi told us and in looking at this quote, I don't believe Kolmar ever truly had a problem with this. She knew that she was meant to be an outsider, and that she was given a rare artistic gift. And, while it may have caused her some emotional strife, she also embraced it. When it came time for her to leave, she chose to stay with her elderly father, even though she knew that she was living in constant danger. As a female Jewish artist, one of the few ways that Kolmar had to preserve her legacy was through her literature, through words that could never fade away. She almost seemed to know that she was destined to a premature death, and if not completely committed to the idea of self-sacrifice, she certainly seemed to accept it.

Monika Shafi

This lecture was the most enjoyable i felt because i could connect to her topic on a more personal level than most other lecture topics. When i was younger, learning about the holocaust was just another boring history lesson to me. Not until i was older was i able to understand that this was not just another even in history that we were forced to learn about because according to my teachers it would give me a better appreciation and understanding of the world i live in today. To me it began to mean more. In highschool while having a conversation with my grandparents who live in Germany i brought up the subject and got myself into more than i asked for. I learned that people from my family were victims of Hitlers rein. I learned of many details (that are unnecessary to this post) that really made me think twice about how i viewed this event, as well as others in history. My point, is that for most an event in history is just another chapter in a book, until you hear a real life story of some ones struggles and their tragic personal experience of the event. Then you feel those peoples emotions and think of what it would have been like to be in their shoes. More on topic, to hear of her struggle as a woman jew poet should really make people realize how far we have come in this world and be thankful for the people like her who struggled and experienced the hardships to help get us where we are today. Kolmar's writings were beautiful and helped tell a storie to me. Ms. Shafi's lecture was intriguing and enjoyable for me. I have a lot of respect for her studies.

Asaf Romirowsky

This lecture was interesting and informative. I am not previously educated on problems in the mis east dealing with both history and current events dealing with Judaism or any other religion for that matter. So this lecture taught me a lot and stimulated my mind to form my own opinions on a new topic of interest for me. From this i have gathered that Palestinians are bad news point blank. I now have a vague knowledge of the feuding and such, and the lack of a solution to a major problem. I feel that we need more people like Romirowsky getting actively involved with brainstorming logical possible solutions to this problem of the Palestinians. I personally dont feel that the 3 state solution theory presented gives enough attention to every complex detail of the problem. However, it is positive progressive thinking!! I am entirely lost about the problems involving the gaza strip, but in my opinion from what i do understand some things cannot be fixed from the outside help offered. I believe that entire populations of nations need to grow up and learn to accept and embrace differences among all types of peoples opinions and beliefs different from their own before any one can really step in and help them. I live a good portion of my life on the saying "you have to be able to help yourself before others can help you." This seems appropriate for several situations going on over there. I enjoyed the mind stumutating presentation and give Romirowsky mad props on the lecture. Thank you!