Defining Ourselves Over Time

Our speaker Julie Nemeth provided an excellent and interesting overview of developmental theories in children and adolescents---appropriate if this were a psychology class.Nevertheless,I especially found learning about the research conducted by Kenny and Rice(1995) humorous.It categorized the college experience in Ainsworth's terminology, as a "strange situation".That is,once parents drop off their kid at the dorm,the child's style of forming relationships with others will depend on the attachment to the mother the child had at the age of 12-18 months old.
Is it reasonable to assume that attachment theory can be applied across developmental stages?
Do all psychologists agree that our internal models of our self and others do not change over time and are based solely on whether or not we experienced secure or insecure attachments?
I don't think so!
Here is a question Nemeth asked herself in class,"why are there so many Jewish psychologists?"The answer I offer is because Jews believe a person can change.Change is a tenant of Judaism.When a person does a wrongdoing,feels bad about it and vows never to do it again,the process of repentance takes effect.That is, where distance existed between two people,closeness can replace it.Unlike Christianity which believes a person,no matter how bad he/she is,if he/she accepts Jesus Christ,then redemption is guaranteed.Not so in Judaism.If we had a bad "attachment" with our parents,own up to it, because otherwise there will be repercussions...lack of self-esteem,psychological distress.But, if we make amends,say sorry, then what was done in the past does not necessarily need to define us now.Fostering the best possible relationship with our parents will hopefully yield a well adjusted individual no matter what environment we find ourselves in;and,more importantly,at whatever point in time.

Eric McBride Response for Dr. Nemeth

I found that Dr. Nemeth's presentation was an interesting and thought provoking. I have not taken a psychology class since freshman year, but her ideas about attachment theory and religious background seem to make sense. When one has a strong religious foundation, it can help that person in various aspects of life. Also, it is clear that stable parental relationship has a direct correlation with well-being. As Heather pointed out, it is interesting that the more decisive relationship for stability is father-daughter. In future study, I think it would be useful to also focus on alternative style households such as single-parent, same-sex couples, or extended families and see if a similar relationship exists and is relevant. While there were some limitations, I am glad that Dr. Nemeth shared the entire research process with us and asked for our feedback. While she examined Jewish religious identity, I think a good place for further analysis would be Jewish social identity and well-being. Judaism is such a community-oriented religion and there are so many different social inputs from summer camp to book groups to J-Date. I thought the lecture was appropriate and a good way to wrap-up the semester.

Dr. Nemeth

I enjoyed Dr. Nemeth's speech. However, there were many errors in her research. She was pointing them out to us which I thought was strange to poke holes in your own data. Honestly, I didn't understand why she thought the data from Jews and non-Jews would be different on a topic like separation and attachment. Maybe after the holocaust there might be some differences, but now a days I feel that it would make no difference. Especially, if her study is polling mostly conservative and reformed Jews, whom grew up in mostly secular societies.
There is really nothing else to be talked about. It wasn't a topic to be discussed, it was more like heres my hypothesis and "oh... my hypothesis was right."
Lastly, I would have to disagree with her generalization that girls who are culturally Jewish have more self confidence and self esteem than Jews who are religiously Jewish. I believe that to be a bogus statement. I have never seen Jewish girls with less confidence and no self- esteem before I came to college. I came from an orthodox area and those girls would never put up with the garbage that cultural Jewish girls would. I have done no research on the topic, that is just my personal observation.

Dr. Julie Nemeth's Talk

First of all, I thought this was a great way to end the semester. Dr. Nemeth provided the class with a very real-world example of how Jewish identity can affect us every day, and how research as to its full affects is being done even right now, at our own university. While, admittedly, there was room for a lot of error in the study that Dr. Nemeth had conducted, I think she touched upon some truly interesting points. I myself have had many personal issues focusing around separation and attachment, and I am always looking for new ways to try and understand the problems that cloud my subconscious. Never had I really looked at my Jewish identity, however, as a possible influencing factor in my difficulties.
Dr. Nemeth noted that, in her study, it ended up being that father/daughter relationships were the "most important" to young Jewish women of this day and age. In most past studies, research was done solely between the young woman and her mother, sometimes with both parents. Never, however, has a study been conducted looking solely at the relationship between the young Jewish woman and her father. This is incredibly surprising to me! As I briefly suggested to Dr. Nemeth, many of my close personal female, Jewish friends, if they have troubles at all with their parents, have troubles with their fathers. Why is it, I wonder, that in recent years a shift has occured, placing the father/daughter relationship in more prominence?
While I firmly believe that everyone's individual situation will be affected differently by a number of personal factors, I think there are some over-arching ideas that have caused this shift. In America especially, the idea of "Daddy's Little Girl" is seen everywhere. From sitting happily on a father's knee as a child to the talks that Dad will undoubtedly have with the first boyfriend, fatherly approval is incredibly influencial and craved by a little girl. Especially in generations when female independence and opportunity has become even more popular. Domestic roles, while still incredibly important, are no longer restricting to females. Women have every, if not more, opportunity than men, and are seen in traditionally male roles from astronauts to CEOs and beyond. In adopting and integrating into more traditionally male-dominated areas of society, women are more often look to their fathers for advice and support.
Obviously, I'm no psychologist, and these are just a few, broad ideas of why the father/daughter relationship is becoming more influencial in a woman's life, and therefore, more heavily affecting her dealings with separation and attachment. I definitely think that a study focusing on the link between separation, attachment, and Jewish identity, specifically focusing on how fathers affect their daughters, would open up a lot of new avenues for both learning and understanding, especially in my own life.

Monika Shafi's Talk

Professor Shafi's presentation of the life and works of Gertrud Kolmar was very interesting. As an English major and a creative writer myself, I love to find out about how the personal life of an author influenced and shaped their work. Kolmar's integration of an autobiographical element into her seemingly general poetry is genius--it enables the reader to see the bigger picture and not judge the works solely by Kolmar's personal bias, but it also weaves a strong, identifiable female voice into the text. As a female Jewish artist, Kolmar seemed to be working against all arenas of society at the time she was writing; her feelings of isolation and hopelessness were, without a doubt, not only in her head.

I think the quote that Professor Shafi included at the end of her presentation was most telling of Kolmar's true aspirations. In a letter to her sister on July 19th, 1942, Kolmar wrote: “The earlier decades when we were doing ‘very well’ were not for me, they demanded qualities of a gregarious, social kind that, for the most part, I lacked; but what the present demands—that I have in every way; I am a good match for today.” Kolmar knew that she could never fit in. Her physical appearance, her artistic inclinations, and her attachment to her Jewish identity all prohibited her from finding happiness in much of her life, even when her family was "doing very well". But, from what Professor Shafi told us and in looking at this quote, I don't believe Kolmar ever truly had a problem with this. She knew that she was meant to be an outsider, and that she was given a rare artistic gift. And, while it may have caused her some emotional strife, she also embraced it. When it came time for her to leave, she chose to stay with her elderly father, even though she knew that she was living in constant danger. As a female Jewish artist, one of the few ways that Kolmar had to preserve her legacy was through her literature, through words that could never fade away. She almost seemed to know that she was destined to a premature death, and if not completely committed to the idea of self-sacrifice, she certainly seemed to accept it.

Monika Shafi

This lecture was the most enjoyable i felt because i could connect to her topic on a more personal level than most other lecture topics. When i was younger, learning about the holocaust was just another boring history lesson to me. Not until i was older was i able to understand that this was not just another even in history that we were forced to learn about because according to my teachers it would give me a better appreciation and understanding of the world i live in today. To me it began to mean more. In highschool while having a conversation with my grandparents who live in Germany i brought up the subject and got myself into more than i asked for. I learned that people from my family were victims of Hitlers rein. I learned of many details (that are unnecessary to this post) that really made me think twice about how i viewed this event, as well as others in history. My point, is that for most an event in history is just another chapter in a book, until you hear a real life story of some ones struggles and their tragic personal experience of the event. Then you feel those peoples emotions and think of what it would have been like to be in their shoes. More on topic, to hear of her struggle as a woman jew poet should really make people realize how far we have come in this world and be thankful for the people like her who struggled and experienced the hardships to help get us where we are today. Kolmar's writings were beautiful and helped tell a storie to me. Ms. Shafi's lecture was intriguing and enjoyable for me. I have a lot of respect for her studies.

Asaf Romirowsky

This lecture was interesting and informative. I am not previously educated on problems in the mis east dealing with both history and current events dealing with Judaism or any other religion for that matter. So this lecture taught me a lot and stimulated my mind to form my own opinions on a new topic of interest for me. From this i have gathered that Palestinians are bad news point blank. I now have a vague knowledge of the feuding and such, and the lack of a solution to a major problem. I feel that we need more people like Romirowsky getting actively involved with brainstorming logical possible solutions to this problem of the Palestinians. I personally dont feel that the 3 state solution theory presented gives enough attention to every complex detail of the problem. However, it is positive progressive thinking!! I am entirely lost about the problems involving the gaza strip, but in my opinion from what i do understand some things cannot be fixed from the outside help offered. I believe that entire populations of nations need to grow up and learn to accept and embrace differences among all types of peoples opinions and beliefs different from their own before any one can really step in and help them. I live a good portion of my life on the saying "you have to be able to help yourself before others can help you." This seems appropriate for several situations going on over there. I enjoyed the mind stumutating presentation and give Romirowsky mad props on the lecture. Thank you!

rebeca davis

I felt professor Devis' presentation was very appropriately organized. Something I admire about the Jewish religion and the leaders is their awareness of our changing society and willingness to accept, adopt, and adapt to major changes in out society over time in a very positive and civil manner. The example presented in this lecture was how Jews dealt with rising divorce rated and the decrease in religious participation during WWII. They adapted to the new social situation and the Jewish leaders (as well as other American leaders at the time) developed marriage counseling. However, apparently the counseling focused not on the couples, but on the impact the couples divorce would have on the current and uprising Jewish community. With this comes several unanswered questions for me. To me, it seemed like the leaders were more concerned with the reputation of the Jewish community and how the divorces could make them all look. I would like to know why they were more concerned with that rather than the happiness of two fellow members of the community, weather married or single so be it. Aside from all that... I was slightly disappointed that the lecture lacked any solid body. For me some of her thoughts ideas and points that she tired to present seemed like incomplete thoughts. But i still mostly enjoyed it none the less.

Amy Zitelman response to Julie Nemeth

The beginning of the lecture was really interesting.  I think it is important for people to understand the psychology behind what makes people or act the way they do.  College students are a crucial age to study.  The idea of attachment and separation in college students is significant and very interesting.

However, I do not understand why she thought that Jewish college students would be any different.  I once did a project for a Jewish History class in High School.  The project focused on immigrant generations and assimilation.  First generation Americans (most of our parents, for argument sake) are highly assimilated.  They assimilate as to escape the 'foreignness' of their parents who are immigrants.  Therefore, most of our parents raised us just as any American parents would.  Hence, there shouldn't be much difference between Jewish college students' relationships with their parents and other American college students.

I'm not really sure what else to say about this lecture due to the fact that there was not much talked about.  Everything she hypothesized turned out to be true.  And there was not much substance on the difference between Jews and non-Jews.  

I would have liked her to go into a bit more details about the fact that girls who are culturally Jewish have more self confidence and self esteem than Jews who are religiously Jewish.  This is an interesting and troubling statement.  I'm not really sure what I think about this subject other than believing that it is true.

A Response To Monika Shafi

I was really impressed by the amount of information imparted to us and the passion displayed by Monika Shafi.Her portrayal of a hidden Jewess demonstrated how, in spite of the worst humanitarian conditions,Gertrude Kolmar was able to cultivate an amazing inner Jewish spirit.Her literary work remains a living testimony that a Jewish women/poet can indeed have an impact on the course of history.
One incident though, I find confusing in Kolmar's life is the fact she had an abortion at the age of 24.We were told Kolmar had a romantic affair with a man,became pregnant and was most likely forced by her mother to abort the fetus.At the same time,Shafi made it a point to convey to us how much Kolmar understood herself as being different;whether because she was Jewish,a woman or a poet,her feelings of being different were a constant motif in her work.Yet Kolmar always seemed to circumvent these "obstacles".She produced an array of literary work when the odds were against her.So what was it about being a single mom that she could not overcome?Shafi proposed, at the time,it would have destroyed her father's lucrative,lawyer image.To me,this does not seem in line with the fortitude Kolmar displayed as an artist.Exactly the opposite!Kolmar did not value money or modernity or middle class propriety.Why then, did she succumb to the base level of the Nazis by murdering an unborn child?Shafi mentioned countless poems revealing Kolmar's sorrow and pain associated with this event.It seems she was weakened by the traumatic experience and the repercussions were far reaching.

Jewish Women's Psychological Well Being

I really enjoyed learning about the attachment and separation theory. I think it is interesting to study these behaviors and how they affect people later in life. It really shows how much parenting and the values you instill in your children carry through their entire lives. I never really thought about religion as having an affect on peoples separation and attachment issues. I was very intrigued by the study that was done where the results showed that girls who had a personal/inner Jewish identity had higher self esteem while girls who had a religious Jewish identity had lower self esteem. I wish she could have harped on this a little longer and we could have discussed more reasons for this. I felt like this discussion was a lot of buildup but nothing to really show for her study. A lot of her results were basic generalizations and didn't prove or disprove any correlation between religion and these theories. I wish a larger sample was used and more results could have been determined. Most of the results she showed were generalizations that seemed obvious to me. I was very interested in hearing more about the relationship between Judaism and college women's well being, and I don't think that her study showed anything that I wouldn't have figured obvious already. I did think that it was cool that women who had a stronger Jewish identity had lower levels of distress. I think that this speaks more to the fact that these women had a stronger sense of self and were tied to the morals and values that Judaism teaches you. It was curious that she said that if Jewish women come to her for help that she tries to get them to delve into their Jewish roots. I wouldn't think of this as a way to help others and their well-being and I'm not sure that starting to get into your religion in college necessarily would help you. If you have never felt a deep tie to the religion I'm not sure that this would be of a lot of assistance because most people just haven't had any interest in it. Overall, I liked the presentation but wished there were more conclusions that could have been drawn from her study.

i will not be posting for this week

Monika Shafi

I really enjoyed the lecture presented to us by Monika Shafi. I really enjoyed the in depth discussion about the life of Gertrud Kolmar and all the influences that really show up in her writing. I cannot fathom what it must have been like living in Nazi controlled Germany, let alone trying to be an female poet, which is extremely difficult not in war times. The fact that Kolmar was upper-middle class, she still did not let that deter her from realizing her dream is one of the great stories to come of the Holocaust. She really shows a lot of Jewish pride and the perseverance that has been exhibited through all the hardships and anti-Semitism over the years. The fact that she openly saw herself as isolated, yet didn’t let this affect her motivation is something that is truly inspiring. The fact that she was never discouraged from creating great poetry (probably more than we’ll ever know because of what was lost) is really amazing.

Laura Levitt's Talk

I find myself having a difficult time deciding what to write as a response to this week. Loss is something that I am all too familiar with. I am 20 years old, and I need more than my two hands in order to count the number losses that I consider "personal". I am 20 years old, and I have to actually sit down and almost write out a list of the number of people who have died in my recent past because there are so many that I can't readily think of them. Some died from natural causes. Some were taken prematurely. Many actually took their own life.
I guess I don't see how being Jewish has anything to do with loss. And if anyone has ever been envious or felt left out that they didn't have anyone in their past who died in the Holocaust, then I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for them because if they even remotely have the nerve to be upset that someone in their family didn't DIE, then they obviously need to seriously re-evaluate their view of life and loss. Death is about being human; it is not about being Jewish. It is basic human nature, and while it brings relief to some, it brings grief to all.
I don't need to have someone in my family who died in the Holocaust. My papa was a doctor in WWII, and that's the closest that I have. But when I lost my papa, I cared more than I possibly could if I had never met him. Sure, he may have died in the war, he may have died a hero for his people. But he didn't die in the war--he died when he did, and he was a hero to me and everyone who knew him. I may not be able to identify with the others of current generations who lost someone in the Holocaust, but I can identify with those of the past. I can identify with those who were only 20 years old and needed more than their two hands to count the number of loses they considered "personal". I can identify with those who were only 20 years old and had to actually sit down and almost write out a list of the number of people who had died in their recent past because there were so many that they couldn't readily think of them. Some died from natural causes. Some were taken prematurely. Many actually took their own life. I can identify with them because I am one of them. Not because I'm Jewish, not because I'm not-Jewish, but because I'm human.
What have I learned from personal loss? I've learned that I need to keep going. I've learned that you only have one life, and even when all you want to do is make it end, you can't. You can't and you won't. So you say a little prayer, you go to sleep, you wake up in the morning, and you keep going. And it gets better. You will start to form a new spirituality, a new reason for living. You will start to teach others about what loss really is, so that they can be ready for it when the time comes. And you start to realize that yes, being given this position is not fair, but it's what you've got, and it was given to you for a reason, and so you make the best of it.
I don't know if this was really the response you were looking for, but I guess Laura's discussion just provoked a part of me that's been waiting to release its frustration. I don't know if I'm completely disagreeing with what she has to say, but I know that there are some areas of life which transcend any possible religious, cultural, national, or spiritual identity, and one of those areas is death.

Not All Losses Are Morally Equivalent:A Response To Dr. Levitt

How does one persons' loss,whatever it may be, enable him/her to understand the mass losses of the Holocaust when not all losses are the same? And if all losses are not the same,how can one persons' loss possibly be compared to that of someone who experienced loss from the Holocaust?These were some of the questions floating in my head after hearing Dr. Laura Levitt's lecture.

Overall, she spoke beautifully of the significance of telling stories about ordinary people.All the while she spoke, I found myself wondering about my own family's background and how little I really know.This is precisely what she wanted to ignite in us.For her, the way to "never forget" is to delve into our own losses,feel their pain,then link the events back to the Holocaust to understand .Quite far-fetched I'll say! Also,she didn't share much about her own personal familial losses-I would have like to hear the circumstances surrounding the death of her paternal grandmother. Still, she had some good insights.For example, I liked what she said about each person having their own, particular emotional response to the Holocaust.While reverence and respect are customarily the feelings attached to the Holocaust,she spoke about engaging the feelings of inner city kids who had seen Schnidler's List.

Finally,I do not believe all losses are or should be placed on the same level.I think a measure of morality needs to be incorporated into any loss.For example,the loss of life in a concentration camp is not morally equivalent to to the loss of life by natural cause.Yet,Dr.Levitt did not attach any moral repercussions to the losses of the "ordinary people" she spoke about.Instead, she said all losses touch at the core.Indeed Holocaust discourse is emotional,but what we must "never forget" are the senseless acts of immorality perpetrated against the Jews.Anyway,I think as the generation of the Holocaust passes away,we are less likely to remember these individual stories because as Director of the American Committee,Steve Bayme writes,"the Holocaust is no longer central to identifying as a Jew.The Holocaust occupies a rightful place as a dominant event of our time,[however]constructing a Jewish identity upon a narrative of Jewish destruction [is not]who and what the Jews are."

Monika Shafi

I always have a great interest learning about people. I felt that Shafi spoke passionately and intelligently about Gertrud Kolmar. I enjoyed learning about her life and how her isolation and differences allowed her to create poetry. 

I see a lot of strange connections in her life. The fact that she was a woman poet makes her an ousider, as well as the fact that she was a Jewish woman in Nazi Germany. She lived on the outskirts of society by never marrying and writing about women. She took a different role in society and the world saw her as a different type of person in many aspects. She wrote about animals such as vermin and rodents which is ultimately what she paralleled herself to be like. 

One of the last points that Shafi made was that Gertrud Kolmar experienced a triple burden. She was a woman, a poet, and a Jew. I found this to be interesting and somewhat unsettling. Of course in todays society a Jewish, woman, poet would not be looked at as a burden, but maybe more of a minority. 

Monika Shafi

I am skipping this week.

Gertrud Kolmar

Monika Shafi spoke about German-Jewish poet Gertrud Kolmar. Kolmar came from an assimilated, upper-class family but understood herself as being an outsider. It was very interesting to see how someone so well-off and absolutely brilliant as Kolmar would feel this way. The three main reasons she felt so different were 1. her Jewishness, 2. her Femaleness and 3. her being an artist. A Jewish presence was felt in many of her works, and this Jewish identity was always intertwined with her female identity. Kolmar, living in the time when Nazi Germany came to power, never underestimated the danger of the Nazi’s. One poem cycle of hers, “The Words of the Silenced,” (Das Wort der Stummen) was about the situation of Hitler’s victims. In it, Kolmar identifies with them and speaks as one of them. It deeply saddened me to hear how Kolmar made many references to her knowing she would die at the hands of the Nazi’s. Kolmar was published very little in her lifetime but wrote close to 800 poems. Because it was hard to women to break into the industry and because Kolmar wrote very traditionally, very few of her works made it to print. I thought the combination of hearing about Kolmar’s life and the influence of her Jewish roots on her works was very interesting.

Amy Zitelman response to Monika Shafi

Professor Shafi gave a really nice overview of the life and significance of Gertrud Kolmar.  I really enjoyed the lecture.  Kolmar's writing is really beautiful. 

However, this lecture made me quite and upset and very frustrated.  I still cannot get over how much the world has had to lose on account of the Nazi destruction.  So many with such potential and greatness were murdered.  Kolmar's poetry and writing is so beautiful, yet so much of it was lost.  So many others (doctors, lawyers, poets, singers, etc.) were taken away from the world too soon.

My mom just forwarded me an email that was very interesting.  It spoke about the fact that there are 14,000,000 Jews in the world- about 0.02% of the world's population.  And from this small, small number Jews have received 129 Nobel Prizes through the year 2000.  To put this into perspective there are 1,200,000,000 (1.2 BILLION) members of the Islamic community.  That is 20% of the world's population.  Muslims have received 7 Nobel Prizes.

The Jews have given so much to this world.  Imagine if half of our people had not been taken away.

Laura Levitt

Laura Levitt’s lecture put a heavy emphasis of understanding the Holocaust as a collection of many tales rather than one uniform story. This idea is compelling in that when you think of the Holocaust you tend to think of the struggle of the Jewish people as a whole. But, thinking about the personal struggle of a family really puts a relatable emphasis on their experiences. She said to relate this to our own family and our own personable experiences, but I’m not sure what she meant it. If it’s comparing what our families have gone through and those that experienced the Holocaust, it’s a very striking point that can really put things in perspective. Personally, my family has experience nothing on that caliber, but I’m sure analyzing you families past can give someone new direction and inspiration for the future. I did not really follow the rest of her lecture. Her stories about her family were interesting, but seemed out of place in the overall theme.